Love and Seduction


The Flirting, the mystery, the teasing, the shyness, the playfulness, the expectations, the excitement, the nervousness, the charm .. It's all part of seduction, the human mating ritual. And it means there is an attraction. Hopefully mutual.. 

Normally, women are more indirect and subtle than men in the seduction "game". So subtle that, often, men miss the signals. 



Female seduction signs
  • Touches her hair (she might feel a bit nervous)
  • Talks louder with her friends (tries to attract his attention)
  • Laughs louder with her friends (tries harder to attract his attention)
  • Acts more girly (wants to look more attractive)
  • Adjusts her hair, clothes, jewelry (wants to make sure, she looks good)
  • Makes eye contact (the green light!)
  • Smiles (the invitation for approach!!)
  • Finds a way to be closer (he missed all the other signs, and she tries to make it easier his approach, by going close to him)
  • Asks a question, like: "where is the toilet?", do you have a lighter?" (He, still, didn't do nothing. So, she subtle approaches, pretending to need help)
  • Warmly engages the approach (He finally approaches and she wants to make him feel welcome)
  • Speaks enthusiastically
  • Stands close to him
  • Makes a subtle touch
  • Asks personal questions, like: "where are you from?"(shows interest in getting to know him)



Male seduction signs
  • Tries to stand out
  • Makes eye contact
  • Smiles
  • Looks friendly
  • Approaches
  • Tries to be funny
  • Compliments


Why is seduction important?
Seduction is a form of showing interest in other person and simultaneous trying to understand if it's reciprocal.  
It's a form of letting a person know that someone wants to know them better, engage a conversation, probably to initiate a relationship.

Without seduction, the selection of partner would be like a practical questionnaire, an agreement, a deal. No emotions involved. 
Maybe, it would take us back to the marriage of convenience, or arranged marriages. 




The Male and Female Roles in Seduction
It is expected man to make the first move. So, he finds some courage, and overcoming the fear of a possible public rejection, approaches a strange.

Confidence seems to be an important key in seduction. To transmite a confident body language and speech to the woman. Or at least, appearing confident and relaxed, even if not. 
If a man doesn't believe he is good enough for the woman, she will not believe either. If we don't like ourselves, how can we convince others to like us?! 

Men are rejected many times during their lifetime, sometimes in a humiliating way, in public. That creates frustration and gradually affects their self-esteem. 

And that's why the dating apps and dating websites are so successful. It just erased the anxiety of the approach and the public rejection. There is no public place. It's a virtual place.
Maybe, after the date. there will be rejection, but not like approaching a stranger in a public place, with your friends watching, without knowing what would be the reaction. 


Even so, men still want women to be women and to let them do the conquering. It seems to be part of their male role, their masculinity. It's a dynamic that also exists in the animal kingdom. 

Like man, the male also seduces the female by showing off attractive colors, loud sounds, strength, and other features, to be chosen by the female, for mating. 

Like the female, it seems that is the woman that makes the selection, but in reality, as her seduction signs are so subtle, non-verbal and passive, she is just selecting from the ones that selected her. 
In fact, she is just waiting for someone to approach her, to whom she, also, feels  attracted to.

More and more women are taking a more active role in seduction. But, those strong female seduction signs seem to immediately ring sex, to men. 
So, these female attempts, often, ends just in sexual encounters. 


Should women invert roles and actively select her partener?  
Obviously, the changes of a female public rejection are much lower, as men will hardly refuse a possible opportunity for sex.

There's no right or wrong, really. It all comes to what makes each person feel good about themselves, what feels right. 
















15 Signs you have a Toxic Mother-in-Law


Mother-in-law or Monster-in-law?

Just because she is an older adult, doesn't necessarily mean she is mature enough to deal with her emotions.
Maybe she is jealous of you, or emotional insecure and needy, or a control freak, or maybe she is just doing to you, the same her mother-in-law did to her... and whatever you do or say will not change it. The problem is not in you.

To make things worse, sometimes is not just the mother-in-law that is toxic, but also others in-laws...


1 - She says mean and hurtful things
She never misses an opportunity to let you know that you are not good enough for her son. It can be comments on your appearance, on your life choices, or others indirect negative comments. 
Normally, it comes masked with a fake smile. She may pretend it is not intentional, but, in fact, she is trying to get under your skin.




2- She tries to turn you and your husband against each other
She may "naively" says "he said" or "he did" and do the same to him. She may talk about what he used to do for his ex and is not doing for you.
She is  using poisonous conversations to cause argument between the two of you.




3 - She shows you a negative side, that she hides from everyone else
She behaves as an innocent mother for her son and as a respectful and nice lady for the family and friends, but for you, she is judgemental, critical and intimidating. And, if you tell anyone, they will probably not understand and think you are the one that don't like her. You will end up looking bad.






4 - She put herself in the middle of your decisions as a couple 
She gives her unsolicited opinion, that, in really, is not just an opinion, but what  she thinks should be done and expects to be done.



5 - She pretends she cares, but it's all show
There will be times, when she is nice to you, or compliments you, that might make you think that she is starting to accept you. Don't delude yourself. She might be just trying to get some information from you or because she is in front of other people. Soon you will realize that nothing changed. 



6 - She competes with you
Anything you say or do, she always want to prove to be better in all areas, like cooking, housekeeping, culture, others.


7 - She tries to control your husband
Maybe she can not dominate you, so she may try to overpower you, by talking with her son and manipulating him to do what she wants you to do.





8 - She doesn't respect your space
She comes to your house uninvited and unannounced or even if she calls first and you don't answer, she comes to your house, anyway, and insistently rings the bell and knocks the door. 




9 - She treats you like a child
She makes decisions for you, she implies that you don't know how to properly do stuff.



10 - She is always right
She never admits when she's wrong and she never apologizes. Instead, she will try to cover or blame other person. Normally you. 




11 - She spreads rumors and gossips about you to other family members and others
Normally, this happens when she realizes she can't dominate you.  The problem is that she might be successful, as you don't know what is being talked and cannot defend yourself.



12 - She never thanks or appreciate nothing you do
Your accomplishments are insignificant and whatever you do for her or give her she will never show appreciation.



13 - She expects submission
She expects you to adopt her opinions,  religion, culture, language, appearing to every family event, learning her way of cooking, because her way is the best way.




14 - She plays the victim
Plays emotional games with your husband, making him believe that she treats you like a daughter and she doesn't understand why you never want to visit her, or spend time with her.




15- She compares you with all the other women of the family.

She will indirectly compare you to the other women of the family, even to his ex. How their proposal was better, how their wedding was better than yours, how their houses are better, how they are more intelligent, everything. Everything in the others will always be better than you.




How to deal with Toxic In-Laws
  • Be patient
  • Nod your head, smile and ignore
  • Limit your interactions with them
  • Play naive too
  • Be realistic. Don't expect them to change 
  • Accept that these are the in-Laws you have




Love and Social Acceptance


Living in society involves expectations. 
Everybody is expecting something from you: 

The good child, 
the good student, 
the good friend, 
the good citizen, 
the good buyer, 
the good presentation, 
the good manners, 
the good driver, 
the good neighbor,
the good worker,
the good spouse, 
the good parent,
 the good values,
 the good everything..

People are expecting others to be the best to match their expectations. Even, if, they don't match their own expectations. 

Normally, love will be given as a reward, when the individual was good in something and not before, not as incentive.


There's a big pressure from society to the individual.

The individual, that is growing in the society, feels the natural need to please, to feel accepted, loved by society or by certain society's groups.

This need of approval can be directly seen in the social networks, where the individual feel approved, by society, through the likes.


People should try to be their best selfs and compete with themselves to be better, so they can offer the best to others and live in a better society. 

But, this development is interior, emotional, spiritual.. this is what makes better people.. 

Not by being the best student by memorizing things other's discovered long time; 

Not by having the best car and house of the neighborhood;

Not by being in their best shape and wearing trendy clothes;

Not by being very polite, without really meaning it.

Money, appearance, status are not values.

It has its importance, as we are dependent of money and live in society, but are not what makes us important, significant, better...however and sadly,  it is an easy way to be accepted and loved by the big majority of the society.





The Romance of Modern Love



Today's love is not so much about love, but oneself - "me".
Can you make me feel how I want to feel? 
Can you give what I want?
Are you the perfect person for me or can I find someone better than you?

"Someone just like me would be the perfect match". 
Is that how perfect we consider ourselves?

The modern romance is with ourselves. We are so in love with the image of ourselves and with the idea of someone loving us.

Maybe it would be easier if we just marry our ego, with whom we are so in love. 


Maybe we should have a taste of our own love, by spending some time alone with ourselves, to see how bitter or sweet our love is..we are..


We should love ourselves and look for someone that makes us feel good, but looking for an extension of ourselves is just surreal..

It' s useless to look for the perfect love..
It's a waste of time to wait for the perfect love..
... it simply doesn't exist.

How can perfect love exist if we - humans are not perfect?

We are unique, complex and deeply imperfect creatures.










Love and Parenting


Parents are the first contact of the child with the world.

The world of the family is what the child believes to be the world. From them, they will build their understanding of the world

This is how they will understand basic concepts as love, right and wrong, good and evil, support, punishment, family,

Parents are the first and the most important role models.

They will use the teachings, they learned from the family, in their relationships and in their adult life.

The parents' behaviors will probably be copied. The education they are receiving, will very probably be similar to the one they will give to their children.

These teachings will remain in their unconscious mind, even without them knowing or wanting.

And that's why the love of the parents is so important. 

Being a parent is not simply to provide a roof, food, clothing,  hygiene and rules.


The way you treat and educate your children will not just affect the future adult, but it will also affect your relationship with them forever...

Hurting your child is not just beating and shouting is also the emotional abuse, the exposition to violence, the negligence, the comparison, the constant criticism, the lack of affection, a hostile home environment.. making them feel worthless, a burden.. 

The children believe and trust you, so when you call them lazy, worthless, dumb, . They will believe you. And they will fight hard in the future to overcome that. 

...these actions creates traumas in the child.. 
...invisible wounds that will hurt forever..

It deeply affects their self esteem, the way they see themselves.. 

The understanding of values and morals can be damaged.


The adult is a giant and the child is little and defenseless. Intellectually and physically defenseless.. so when a parent verbally or physically attacks them, it is not education -  it's abuse... 
They are little but they have feelings.. they just don't know the world yet as you.

Your authority will not be respected this way...your child will not respect you, will just fear you and accumulate resentment. 

What you are doing and saying now to your children is the relationship you are building with them, for the future. 

You are the ones showing them what is a relationship, what is love, what is support, what is right and wrong, what is bad and good .. 

They will take to their life that basic concepts you taught them. And they will adjust them and work with them through their lives.

Whatever was the education you had (even if it involved violence, humiliation)... your children don't need to go through the same.. A child doesn't have maturity  and knowledge enough to understand their actions and your expectations. They weren't born taught.

They just have needs and desires and want them to  be satisfied. They are not trying to annoy their parents. They just want to have fun. The adult world is very boring. They need stimulation, they want to discover and learn...

It is not the children that should understand us, but we that should constantly try to understand them. They are not mature  and intellectually developed enough yet.


The lack of affection can turn a child into a needy person or have the opposite effect and turn into a cold and distant person, or an angry adult. 

When they don't receive affection, they will very probably look for that love outside the home, in friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands, wives. But because they might be so needy their affairs may fail many times

These traumatic and bad experiences creates emotional and psychological obstacles that take time to overcome.. sometimes a lifetime...and requires maturity... some try to forget them through drugs, alcohol, strange behaviors.. some represses it and end in depression..

A child should be a child... joyful, curious, naive, dreamy, active .. and they should have a childhood...with stimulation, support, love, affection, care, teachings, conversation, understanding, fun, patience, protection, respect ...

The child that you punish, the child that you slap, the child that you call names, the child that you ignore, the child that you lie to, the child that you shout..

..Is going to be same adult that is going to be with you in the future...

..and this adult will remember everything you did and said. It will not be forgotten. 

Don't blame your children for your frustrations, problems,  ..don't punish them  for what happens with you..

They didn't ask to born, you chose to. 

And you are in charge.. they are dependent on you..Make the time you spend together pleasant.. this experience doesn't need to be bad.. 

Have fun together. Enjoy this time, when your children still have all the time of the world for you...

Make good memories...when they grow they will remember everything they lived with you...

Your future relationship with your children when adults, will have this as the basis.. 

If you don't make activities with your children that includes them, where they can also have fun; as they grow, they will look to spend time with other people, cause there's nothing in common with you and it have been always boring.

if you think that your children are too young to understand the explanations to their questions, they will look for the answers in another place.

If there's no "communication" while they are children, as they grow they will not look to talk with you about their lives. Cause there's simply no connection.

Aren't your children whom you love the most? So why treat them like that? Why making them feel like that?

Would you treat another family member like that? a friend? or someone who doesn't follow your rules?

Would you like to be treated like that?

Remember.. your children will walk your steps..