Love and Seduction


The Flirting, the mystery, the teasing, the shyness, the playfulness, the expectations, the excitement, the nervousness, the charm .. It's all part of seduction, the human mating ritual. And it means there is an attraction. Hopefully mutual.. 

Normally, women are more indirect and subtle than men in the seduction "game". So subtle that, often, men miss the signals. 



Female seduction signs
  • Touches her hair (she might feel a bit nervous)
  • Talks louder with her friends (tries to attract his attention)
  • Laughs louder with her friends (tries harder to attract his attention)
  • Acts more girly (wants to look more attractive)
  • Adjusts her hair, clothes, jewelry (wants to make sure, she looks good)
  • Makes eye contact (the green light!)
  • Smiles (the invitation for approach!!)
  • Finds a way to be closer (he missed all the other signs, and she tries to make it easier his approach, by going close to him)
  • Asks a question, like: "where is the toilet?", do you have a lighter?" (He, still, didn't do nothing. So, she subtle approaches, pretending to need help)
  • Warmly engages the approach (He finally approaches and she wants to make him feel welcome)
  • Speaks enthusiastically
  • Stands close to him
  • Makes a subtle touch
  • Asks personal questions, like: "where are you from?"(shows interest in getting to know him)



Male seduction signs
  • Tries to stand out
  • Makes eye contact
  • Smiles
  • Looks friendly
  • Approaches
  • Tries to be funny
  • Compliments


Why is seduction important?
Seduction is a form of showing interest in other person and simultaneous trying to understand if it's reciprocal.  
It's a form of letting a person know that someone wants to know them better, engage a conversation, probably to initiate a relationship.

Without seduction, the selection of partner would be like a practical questionnaire, an agreement, a deal. No emotions involved. 
Maybe, it would take us back to the marriage of convenience, or arranged marriages. 




The Male and Female Roles in Seduction
It is expected man to make the first move. So, he finds some courage, and overcoming the fear of a possible public rejection, approaches a strange.

Confidence seems to be an important key in seduction. To transmite a confident body language and speech to the woman. Or at least, appearing confident and relaxed, even if not. 
If a man doesn't believe he is good enough for the woman, she will not believe either. If we don't like ourselves, how can we convince others to like us?! 

Men are rejected many times during their lifetime, sometimes in a humiliating way, in public. That creates frustration and gradually affects their self-esteem. 

And that's why the dating apps and dating websites are so successful. It just erased the anxiety of the approach and the public rejection. There is no public place. It's a virtual place.
Maybe, after the date. there will be rejection, but not like approaching a stranger in a public place, with your friends watching, without knowing what would be the reaction. 


Even so, men still want women to be women and to let them do the conquering. It seems to be part of their male role, their masculinity. It's a dynamic that also exists in the animal kingdom. 

Like man, the male also seduces the female by showing off attractive colors, loud sounds, strength, and other features, to be chosen by the female, for mating. 

Like the female, it seems that is the woman that makes the selection, but in reality, as her seduction signs are so subtle, non-verbal and passive, she is just selecting from the ones that selected her. 
In fact, she is just waiting for someone to approach her, to whom she, also, feels  attracted to.

More and more women are taking a more active role in seduction. But, those strong female seduction signs seem to immediately ring sex, to men. 
So, these female attempts, often, ends just in sexual encounters. 


Should women invert roles and actively select her partener?  
Obviously, the changes of a female public rejection are much lower, as men will hardly refuse a possible opportunity for sex.

There's no right or wrong, really. It all comes to what makes each person feel good about themselves, what feels right.