Love Dissection: November 2017

Romantic things we don't do anymore

Today, everything is done through the internet, mobil phone, the social networks, pc, laptop, tablet.. faster and easier, but there are things that were so much romantic and meaningful before...

- Write handwritten love letters

- Bringing flowers in a regular day

- Making a mix tape

- Send love cards by post

- Printing a photograph to offer

- Remembering your sweetheart's phone number

- Keeping a personal diary

- Having a dinner without being interrupted by the phone

- Going together to the video store to rent a film

- Offering a book

Pictures sources: https://pixabay.com/

The Eternal Battle of the Sexes

Why relationships between man and woman are always so tempestuous? Why are they so different?

In order to understand this, we need to understand who they are.

Everything starts in the day they are conceived. The chromosomes Y and the X, determine if they are a girl or a boy.
Woman and man born different. Boys with more testosterone hormones and girls with more estrogen hormones.

The most evident differences influenced by the hormones are:

Man

Men are physically more active;
Men are more visual;
Men are more aggressive and competitive;
They are more practical;
More functional intelligence;
Challenges and risk-taker;
They have naturally more muscular tissue;
Anatomically stronger;
Normally, what they say is what its means;
Problem solver;
Better in manual labour;
They have more difficulty to express emotions verbally.

Women

Women are mentally more active;
Women are more verbal;
More focus in relationship building;
More detail-oriented;
More emotional intelligence;
Their emotions influences decisions;
Better memory;
They have naturally more fatty tissue;
More social and interactive;
Are normally more cleaner;
Better multitasking;
Women feel fear for anticipation, but tolerates pain better;
Women verbally express their emotions easier.

After they born, the education, the role models and the teachings of the parents and society, plays the main role.

A big part os us is product of our environment and our experiences with our environment.

For society, boys are expected to be strong in the outside and tough in the inside. Girls are expected to be delicate in manners and in feelings.

Normally is always given more freedom to boys than girls.

Men and women are stereotyped and pressured by society.

Men's point of view

Men are expected to give the first step with women, but often are rejected and have to deal with the affects in their self-esteem;
Sensibility in men is seen as weakness;
Men feel the responsibility to be the main provider for the family;
Men feel pressured to be professionally successful;
Men are assumed to be obsessed with sex and being cheaters;
Men are believed to not be able to take care of themselves, therefore to need a woman;
Men are believed to be clumsy in domestic tasks;

Women's point of view

Women feel objectified;
Women are seen as vulnerable;
Women are expected to eat little and stay thin;
Woman are pressured to look beautiful;
Women shouldn't manifest sexual desires;
Women should be everything in one: beautiful, perfect wife, perfect housewife, perfect mother, perfect lover and to have a perfect career.

It's expected, for both, to marry before 40's and have children.

Man and woman are different creatures, with different perspectives of the reality, that want different things. But they, both, feel pressured by society, and by each other.

Sexism Vs Feminism
Sexism is very old. The man that knows better and decides everything. The man superior to woman. The male domination over female.
Unfortunately, sexism is still very rooted in today's society. The mentality that "if the women doesn't follow the man, he is not man enough".

The way women were treated along the history of the humankind, makes me wonder, what if women weren't needed for procreation and there were no pleasure in sex, would women be just slaves?
Women were already slaves but with marriage and some kind of affection (I want to believe). Would have been worse?

Today, women don't want to be waiting in home, to be rescued by the prince charming anymore.
On the contrary, they want to be independent. It doesn't mean that they don't want to get married and have children.

Feminism is not about women wanting to dominate men, like men did with women.
Feminism is women wanting to have the same rights, the same equality in all areas, at all levels, just like men.

I don't understand why men would be threatened. If they really believe to be the best in everything. Shouldn't exist no fears.
Maybe they know that women are capable of intelligence and to perform well.

Women started to have some rights and equality 100 years ago, and they already, not only, prove to be able of the same, but they were also able to caught men, in such short period of time.

Imagine if women weren't constrained, all these centuries, to the role of wife and mother! What could they have contributed to society.
Women have different skills.

Women and men are complementary: strength and delicacy;
Together there's balance.
Separated is just strength alone and just delicacy alone.

They need each other. The weakness of one is the strength of the other. There a reason for them to be different.
Everything has a purpose.

Love and Sex

What is, in fact, Sex?
Sex is an important part of relationships.
Sex are sensations, pleasure, an explosion, a liberation, a relief, it's physical and can be emotional.

Sex can be an act of love. Passionate and intense, with feelings.

Sex is very intimate, involves getting naked; exploring and feeling other's person body; having other's person body part inside of other and exchanging internal body fluids.

Sex is not like eating chocolate, as I heard somewhere. It's an experience. An intimate experience.

The society is obsessed with Sex
Society lost the shame and dressed its sassy clothes.
All we hear, today, is how to give pleasure, how to perform certain positions, how to have multiple orgasms, should I shave it all, the best foreplay, sexual toys, sexy clothing...

Everybody seems to be obsessed about sex.
People are relying on sex to meet people, to start relationships, to not be cheated on, to maintain a relationship, to feel desired, to feel attractive.. to be loved...

Sex and desire are powerful. It can drive people to do anything...but we shouldn't let it control us. Sex has the importance we give to it.

Sex should happens naturally, should be a form of enjoyment, connection, bonding, building intimacy.
And not a competition, an exhibition, a list, a goal, a comparison, a pressure.

Is Sex a need?
Some people try to explain this, as the natural human need. If we want to go to the human nature, we can say that sex is a primitive need/urge for procreation.

But, our society is not obsessed with sex for procreation. But for lust, for pleasure.
So, this has little to do with the primitive human nature.

More likely to be related with us being constantly stimulated, from everywhere (Tv, advertising, clothing, movies, music, etc).

And is there where you can see the difference between someone that loves you or just want to have sex with you. A person that is in love just want to make love with a specific person.
Love is what distinguishes us from the majority of the animals.

Sex in the first date
Before, sex happened after marriage. Just illegal prostitutes would sell it. Religion had an active role controlling society's behaviors, values and morals.

Today, sex happens whenever a woman wants, because men seem to be always available.

Since religion lost ground, women's repressed sexuality was released.

Today, the only moral concern, might be having sex on the first date or not.

Women tend to have sex with someone they are interested in building a relationship.

Men tend to have sex with "everything" that moves.

When these two people meet and have sex in the first date, it can happen that this man comes back for more occasional sex or he can immediately move on to the next one.

And that woman, in the end, will feel used, frustrated, disappointed.

Why this happens?

There is no emotional attachment. They don't know nothing about each other, they don't even know each other. So, There's no reason to care about the other one.

Also, many men still judge women who have sex in the first date, as promiscuous. They believe that this woman is having sex with all the other men in the first date. So they are not special. Just one more. They'll lose respect and interest.

It's hypocritical cause they are doing the same. But this is how some men are.

If the woman is interested in having a relationship with a certain person, getting the know better the other first and give it time to develop feelings, it's playing more safe.

Cause no man that is not starting to have feeling and is not having sex, would stick for long.

A man that got to know the women's personality, lived experiences together, shared moments, more probably will fall in love than man that just had sex with a stranger.

And a man in love will do everything for his lover. In that moment, sex will be a form of deeper connection. He will not leave her after having sex.

After all, They have a relationship.

It can also happen that none of them are interested in more than occasional sex, or that both want to keep seeing each other.

But that is playing a game of probabilities.

Love vs. Sex
Anyway, why sex comes first than love?

Is sex that important, that urgent that needs to come straight away?

Why looking first for sex and after that for love?

Why meeting first the body and just after the person?

Is the body more important than the person?

Why are we choosing to have sex instead of making love?

Love is caring, sex is pleasure
Love is emotional involvement, sex is physical involvement
Love is giving and receiving, sex is giving and receiving
Love compatibility is very important for the success of the relationship
Sex compatibility is very important for the success of the relationship

Why are we separating sex from love?

Shouldn't sex be a part of love?

Shouldn't they complement each other?

Are people following the movies, where there is sex in the first date, or are the movies following the culture, the people?

Who knows... but something is obvious, love is being left for second place.
People are more interested in living their sex life without feelings, without restrictions. If a relationship comes after that, it's a plus!

Is not wrong or right.

We are just trying to realize what people want. And this is what they are looking for: briefs moments of pleasure with a stranger.
If that makes people happy, there's nothing wrong about it. The important is feeling good about ourselves!

The Oppression of Emotions
We came from very oppressive and hostile societies for feelings and romance. Where love was not important. Marriage was a business arrangement. Marriage was a form of political, social and economical alliance between families.
Love was just existed in the songs, in the poems, in the plays and novels.

Today, we have the chance to freely love, to be in a relationship for love, to make love, to marry for love, to live a love story....but we are more concerned about having sex..

Men were obligated to marry with a stranger, to serve the family interests. So many were having sex with prostitutes, mistresses, domestic servants.
Today, man freely chooses his girlfriend, his wife. So why many keep looking for sex out of the relationship?

It was always expected from man to be tough, but today is more acceptable a sensitive, romantic and emotional man.
So why are men still running from their feelings? Looking for sex instead of love?

Women fought so much for equality, but why are women trying to be equal to men also in behaviors?

Women fought so much to not be submissive to men, but are women still trying to please men, by giving them what they want?

Women fought and fight so hard to not be a sexual object, but aren't women being a sexual object, when they let men use them and trow them away?

Women always complained about the male sexual behaviors. Why are they copying them?

Maybe women is still learning to deal with all this freedom.

Men never hid who they are.
Women couldn't show. They were too controlled and dominated.
Now, we are starting to see who women are.

Maybe women just want the same as men, but they were too oppressed before..

So, was Love just an invention of the arts?

Are we reinventing Love?

Or are we distorting Love?

Or maybe the human race just needs more time for spiritually evolution, to mature their concept and understanding of love. Maybe another century...

30 Best Love Songs Ever

15 Best Rock Love Songs:

15 Best Pop and other genders Love songs:

What is your favorite love song?

The Universe as Match Maker - Astrology

Navigators followed the stars to find their way to land. Maybe, we can find our soulmate using astrology.

Astrology reveals some basic personality traits.

1st House (21 March to 20 April)

Aries - The Pioneer
Motto: "I am"

Positives - Courageous, determined, enthusiastic, self-confident, frank, daring, enthusiastic, tough, dynamic, bold, spontaneous, ardent

Negatives - Impatient, Impulsive, self-centered, blundering, stubbornness, competitive, rude, childish, quick-tempered, brusque, confrontational, selfish

They need: Adventure, challenges and adrenaline rush

They hate: Slow people, waiting, delays
Element: Fire, Cardinal
Spring - Beginning
Crystal - Bloodstone

Mars - Planet of war and energy

2nd House (21 April to 20 May)
Taurus - The Builder
Motto: "I have"

Positives: Reliable, patient, practical, devoted, responsible, stable, persevering, supportive, loyal, rational, protective, tough, realistic, sensuous, sensual

Negatives: Possessive, inflexible, lazy, stubborn, rigid, too cautious, jealous, gluttonous, procrastinator, resentful, closed

They need: Stability, relaxation and tranquility

They hate: Sudden changes, being rushed, people who brag, lies, complications

Element: Earth, Fixed
Spring - Middle
Crystal - Rose Quartz

Venus - Planet of beauty and love

3rd House (21 May to 21 June)

Gemini - The Storyteller
Motto: "I think"

Positives: Communicative, versatile, adventurous, playful, imaginative, fast thinker, quick- witted, curious, social, adaptable, talkative, energetic

Negatives: inconsistent, restless, two-faced, shallow, unreliable, impulsive, distracted, insensitive, superficial

They need: Variety, excitement, stimulation

They hate: Monotony, being alone, people with no sense of humor

Element: Air, mutable
Spring - End
Crystal - Citrine

Mercury - Planet of communication

4th House ( 22 June to 22 July)
Cancer - The Caregiver

Motto: "I feel"

Positives: Emotional, loyal, helpful, caring, calm, forgiving, patient, dependable, sensitive, protective, generous, devoted

Negatives: Hipper sensitive, temperamental, vulnerable, anxious, indulgent, lazy, unrealistic, dependent, nostalgic, passive, needy, irritable, bossy, moody

They need: Affection, safety and to be appreciated
They hate: Feeling forgotten

Element: Water; Cardinal
Summer - Beginning
Crystal - Moonstone

Moon - Planet of the deepest needs

5th House ( 23 July to 22 August)
Leo - The Performer

Motto: "I want"

Positives: Self-confident, charismatic, playful, dynamic, motivated, loyal, generous, ambitious, daring, responsible, seductive

Negatives: Arrogant, self-centered, proud, domineering, inflexible, jealous, stubborn, intolerant, vain, nonchalant, self-absorbed, dramatic

They need: Flattery, compliments, attention and respect

They hate: Everyone that is better than them in any way, being ignored,

Element: Fire, Fixed
Summer - Middle
Crystal - Black Onyx

Sun - Planet of life, creation

6th House ( 23 August to 22 September)
Virgo - The Perfectionist

Motto: "I analise"

Positives: Methodic, perspicacious, cautious, perfectionist, hardworking, scrupulous, honest, organized, helpful

Negatives: Cold, over critical, nervous, anxious, petty, calculating, temperamental, narrow-minded, caustic, obsessive, perfectionist

They need: Routine, organization and acknowledgement

They hate: mess, vulgar people

Element: Earth, Mutable
Summer - End
Crystal - Peridot

Mercury - Planet of communication

7th House ( 23 September to 22 October)
Libra - The Peacemaker
Motto: "I balance"

Positives : Charming, sociable, understanding, delicate, reserved, polite, pacifist, tolerant, fair, perfectionist, diplomatic, seductive, tactful

Negatives: Vain, indecisive, hesitant, selfish, indolent, insensitive, pleaser, manipulative, narcissistic,"frenemy", cold, shallow

They need: Harmony, peace and being in love

They hate: Rudeness, being alone, confrontation

Element: Air, Cardinal
Autumn - Beginning
Crystal - Pink Tourmaline

Venus - Planet of beauty and love

8th House (23 October to 22 November)

Scorpio - The Hypnotist

Motto: "I desire"

Positives: Magnetic, mysterious, protective, loyal, self-confident, charismatic, strong-willed, vigorous, passionate, perspicacious, creative, intense, tough

Negatives: Secretive, aggressive, secretly manipulative, self-centered, sadistic, possessive, obsessive, revenge, complex, sly, inquisitive, stubborn, competitive

They need: Privacy

They hate: Insecure people, people that don't return their things

Element: Water, Fixed
Autumn - Middle
Crystal -Yellow Topaz

Pluto - Planet of power and regeneration

9th House ( 23 November to 21 December)

Sagittarius - The Truth Seeker

Motto: "I see"

Positives: Generous, amusing, extrovert, sociable, bold, intense, likeable, straightforward, "philosopher", open-minded, adventurous, wild

Negatives: Critic, moralist, impatient, brutal frankness, self-opinionated, proud, dramatic, exaggerating, tactless

They need: Freedom, adventures and spontaneity

They hate: Touchy about criticism, being judged

Element: Fire, Mutable
Autumn - End
Crystal - Ruby

Jupiter - Planet of abundance

10th House (22 December to 20 January)

Capricorn- The Accomplisher

Motto: "I use"

Positives: Responsible, disciplined, hard working, loyal, focused, ambitious, persevering, patient, reserved, cautious, reliable

Negatives: Cold, unforgiving, snobbish, distant, greedy, competitive, sadistic, moralistic, petty, rude, calculating, ruthless, rigorous, strategist

They need: Order and respect

They hate: Failure, to be doubted, people that don't keep promises,
Element- Earth, Cardinal
Winter - Beginning
Crystal - Tiger's Eye

Saturn - Planet of structure

11th House (21 January to 19 February )

Aquarius- The Visionaire

Motto: "I know"

Positives: Independent, original, energetic, innovative, friendly, idealistic, creative, charitable, eccentric, self-confident, forward-thinking

Negatives: Detached, rebellious, distant, cold, contradictory, utopian, resigned, maladjusted, self-centered, uncaring, indifferent

They need: Selfhood, stand out, develop projects

They hate: Constrain

Element - Air, Fixed
Winter - Middle
Crystal - Hematite

Uranus - Planet of innovation and progressiveness

12th House ( 20 February to 20 March)

Pisces - The Dreamer

Motto: "I believe"

Positives: Selfless, generous, compassionate, tolerant, friendly, patient, gentle, sensitive, devoted, adaptable, imaginative, helpful, charming, artistic, idealistic, dreamer, spirit of sacrifice for others, empathetic

Negatives: Distracted, disorganized, naive, lazy, irrational, confused, unpredictable, indecisive, vulnerable, hesitant, escapist

They need: Time alone to think and focus

They hate: losing stuff daily because of their disorganization

Element: Water, Mutable
Winter - End
Crystal - Aquamarine

Neptune - Planet of spirituality

Compatibility

Every zodiac will find better compatibility among the ones of the same element (fire, earth, air and water).
Other than these, each sign tends to feel more attracted to some signs than others.

The life experiences of each person will also influence.

Aries - With someone of the same element, can go to mutual admiration or lead to egos rivalry.
Air signs and mutable will also attract Aries.
More complicated with water signs.

Taurus - Same element will work if they are not too bossy or critical to taurus.

Attraction to water signs and fixed signs.

Harder with air signs.

Gemini - will feel stimulant by the same element signs.

Attraction to fire signs

Harder with earth signs.

Cancer - The signs from the same element will understand them better, but they also will feel attracted by the security and stability earth signs can give.

More difficult with fire signs.

Leo - Leo will find someone good enough in the same element, but if the other lose interest in them or treat them ordinary, they can turn to air signs and mutable signs.
Harder with water signs.

Virgo - Same element or probably water signs.
Harder with air signs.

Libra - Same sign and attracted to mutable signs.
Harder with earth signs.

Scorpio - More attracted to signs of the same element and mutable signs.
More difficult with fire signs.

Sagittarius - Same element will work better, but is also attracted to air and cardinal signs.
Harder with water signs.

Capricorn - Same element and other cardinal signs.
Harder with air signs.

Aquarius - Same element will keep them curious, but may feel attracted to fire signs.

More complicated with earth signs.

Pisces - The same element, but also attracted to earth signs

Harder with fire signs.

Elements

Fire (confident, passionate) - Aries, Leo, Sagittarius

Earth (practical, cautious) - Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn

Air (communicative, intellectual) - Gemini, Libra, Aquarius,

Water (emotional, calm) - Cancer, Pisces, Scorpio

Qualities:

Cardinal (starters, leaders of the change) - Aries, Capricorn, Libra, Cancer

Mutable (adaptable, followers of to change) - Gemini, Pisces, Sagittarius, Virgo

Fixed (slow to change, finishers of what was started) - Taurus, Aquarius, Scorpio, Leo

Polarity:

Positive, Active, Energetic, Masculine (Fire and Air) - Aries, Gemini, Leo, Sagittarius, Libra, Aquarius

Negative, Receptive, Magnetic, Feminine (Earth and Water) - Taurus, Virgo, Scorpio, Cancer, Pisces, Capricorn

Opposites:

Aries and Libra
Self vs Partnership

Taurus and Scorpio
Mine vs Ours
Growth vs Transformation

Gemini and Sagittarius
Self- expression vs Higher thinking
Knowledge to help me vs Knowledge to help everybody

Cancer and Capricorn
Home life vs Public Life
Procreation vs Death
Unconditional love vs Love with conditions
Dependence vs Autonomy

Leo and Aquarius
Creativity for personal pleasure vs Creativity to help everybody

Virgo and Pisces
Work and self- improvement vs Dreams and social improvement
Deal with daily life vs Deal with spirituality

Story of the Creation - the Role of each Zodiac Sign:

Aries is the Warrior, that faces the unknown, goes looking for land and leads the people there;

Taurus is the Farmer, that takes care of the land and plants the food;

Gemini is the Communicator, that spreads the news to everybody;

Cancer is the "Mother", that starts a family, takes care and protects them;

Leo is the Conqueror, that plans events for entertainment and joy, conquering the people;

Virgo is the Regulator, that organizes daily tasks, for everybody, to live in community, paying great attention to every detail;

Libra is the Mediator, that makes sure there's law, justice and harmony;

Scorpio is the Sorcerer, that brings the need for transformation and evolution of ourselves;

Sagittarius is the Explorer, that looks for new worlds to open horizons, for wisdom;

Capricorn is the Authority, that manages the land and people, bringing discipline and structure;

Aquarius is the Revolutionary, that creates new inventions and news ideas to make the land a better place to live;

Pisces is the Mystic, that understands the people and brings introspection about the spirituality, the afterlife, the old age, the life outside the society (hospital, jail, asylum).

The Druids' Celtic Trees

Alder, the Trailblazer - Aries

Willow, the Observer - Taurus

Hawthorn, The Illusionist - Gemini

Oak, The Stabilizer - Cancer

Holly, The Ruler - Leo

Hazel, The Knower - Virgo

Vine, The Equalizer - Libra

Ivy, The Survivor - Scorpio

Redd, The Inquisitor

Elder, The Seeker - Sagittarius

Birch, The Achiever - Capricorn

Rowan, The Thinker - Aquarius

Ash, The Enchanter - Pisces

Signs are going to change a lamp:
(http://accessnewage.com/articles/humor/lightbul.htm)

How may Arians are needed to change a lamp?
Just one, but many lamps!

How many Taurus?
None. Taurus don't like to change nothing! Anyway they love natural light!

How many Geminis are needed?
Two (of course). It will take the whole weekend, but when finished the lamp will change colors, play music and speak french

How many Cancerians?
Just one. But cancerian will spend 3 years in the therapist to help to go through the process.

And Leos?
Leo don't change lamps, they find someone else to do it for them. Just if the world would spin around them, while they hold the bulb.

How many Virgos does it take to change a lamp?
Let's see: One to rotate the lamp, another to write the purchase date of the lamp and the day it was changed, another to decide who was the fault for the burned last lamp, 10 to redecorate the house, and the remaining to change the lamp.

How many Libra are needed?
Not sure...it depends on the lamp and when it burned out. Maybe just one if it's an ordinary lamp or maybe two if one needs to look for a new one, or.. maybe in the dark is more romantic..

What about Scorpions?
Who wants to know? Why do you want to know? Are you a cop?

And how many Sagittarians?
The sun is shinning, the day just started, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're worrying about a stupid burned lightbulb?

Capricorns?
None. Capricorns can't afford new lightbulbs - unless it's a legitimate business expense.

How many Aquarians?
A hundred will compete to be the one to change the bulb and brig light into the world.

And how many Pisceans?
What? The light's out?